here i am
2008-02-02
here i am. drunk (well tipsy at least) and alone. I am tired. Having a bit of a long island mixer (not as good as the real thing, but hey). Life is boring. My ex (1st) called today. Lost his job and the wife left him. Why? Who knows? Weird how life works. Up one day and down the next. Why do we have relationships? They just sour. We should be able to cope with being poligomists (or however you spell it). I care for him so much and he just wanted to hear a friendly voice. Someone to listen.
Unfortunate that me and my husband are trying to work things out. I get sick of feeling used and he gets sick of not being the center of attention. But hey, we're trying to work it out. All I want is my happily ever after. Why stop dreaming of it?
I realized recently that life bites. I have been scarred for life by husband #2. He messed me up so bad it will take a lifetime to recover. Seriously. Reality is not what it appears to be. This drink tastes nasty, but it's working. Just hope my husband doesn't figure it out. I'm ready with the toothpaste, etc so hmmmm.....
I know this sounds so stupid, but I don't care. Weird, but I only seem to care if my typing is ok. Keep fixing the typos and I'll be here all night. Not really, just beating the hell out of the keyboard. Why? Not a clue. Just feels good.
The 4-wheeler people are out again. I'm sick of them. All hours of the night. Doing drugs. I wouldn't care too much except that it drives me nuts. It's like they are in my front yard. Inconsiderate assholes. I know what they do so you'd think they'd like to keep it down so they wouldn't draw attention to themselves? Dumbasses.
Why is the world so cruel? Why can't the planets align to give everyone the peace and happiness they deserve?
My ex's wife had the baby. Healthy so he tells me. That's a good thing. Just why does everthing else in his life fall apart just as I am trying to keep my world together? I will never know.
I hope (when I die) that God answers the one thing I want to know - why? Why does everyone lie to me? Why can't I be happy? What lies did I fall for? I want to know everything when I die. Mystery solved.
Want to go now and finish my drink. Just one. I swear, but it's a BIG one. My husband called and he'll be home soon. I hope. I'm tired of being here my myself today. Way too much time on my hands.
Barnabus (2008-03-27)
We need to do a study!! Why do people put on such false fronts? Are we so insecure, that we need to do this?..I'm guessing but I bet Husband # 1 and # 2 etc. proved to be not really the person you married...right? Perhaps they could also say she's not really the girl I married! Or is it that once married people think they have 'rights' over the other person...perhaps they do..I've never been married...still happy!!!
Just got this question going thru my mind tonight!!
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